i just need to vent....

I am so upset. You really can't understand my ire. I feel like I've been bamboozled and slapped in the face. I watched The Last Airbender during a midnight screening for which I paid $20 for a ticket and stood in line for a half hour. All of that effort just saw M. Night Shyamalan could mind fuck me. I love the cartoon series Avatar. It has that perfect balance of child sensibility with important life lessons. It's not preaching and it's not trying to be something it isn't. Something so perfect was completely ruined by one of the most prominent American directors. First of all let's talk about how the film wasn't even in 3D. The action sequences weren't in 3D. Nothing! Nothing at all! Why would you advertise a film as such if you weren't going to deliver. Next up the racial divide. Why would all the Fire Nation (the bad guys of the saga) be of Middle Eastern/Indian descent? Where did that creative license stem from? I get it you didn't want to use all Asian actors but this would be the perfect opportunity to make all the nations very diverse and show how Utopian the Avatar world was prior to the Invasion. No you decided to make it even more racially awkward, especially with the three heroes all being white. Way to go! The third problem (and possible the most annoying) was that M. Night changed the pronunciation of the character names. Aang became Ahng, Iro became Iroh, and Sokka became Soca. I don't care if those are the proper pronunciations, the basis of this film is that these are characters we've come to love. Don't fuck around and change everything about them. Do you not understand how a franchise works? Also the notion of how bending works is skewed. In the cartoon, the fire nation didn't need fire to be present in order to bend. That's what separated them from the other benders. If you want to get really technical, in order to create fire all you need is air, something to burn and an ignitor. Suck on that! I want a refund of my money and my time. I went in with high hopes only to have them shattered. I pray they don't make another one because I can't stomach that kind of abuse. I usually don't dismiss movies completely but in this instance, I totally think I'm saving all of you from a heartbreaking waste of money. Even the NY Times agrees

the comic books are coming....

In today's cinema most of the films that are in theatres are live-action remakes of popular cartoons and comic books. Especially in the critical summer blockbuster season we will be seeing a lot of our childhood pleasures transplanted to the screen. Upcoming films such as Jonah Hex, The Last Airbender, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, and the upcoming Avengers movie starring Thor, Iron Man, Hulk and Captain America, are all the offsprings of the comic book genre. But comic books have influence beyond their magical world. Maxim magazine (and yes I only read it for the articles) has a list of the best comic book moments in films that weren't based on comic books. While the list can be stupid at times (Really? Cameron Diaz dancing around in Spiderman underwear in Charlie's Angels is not a comic book moment, folks) it does include one of the greatest conversations about the topic ever to be discussed in narrative cinema. In Kill Bill Vol. 2 towards the end of the scene, Bill (David Carradine) and Beatrix (Uma Thurman) have an in depth analysis of Superman and what that means for the rest of our earthlings. It's one of my favorite scenes in the movie and I'm sure most of you remember it. But let's relive it for old times sake.



I included the five point palm technique for kicks! Enjoy!

if you could make God bleed...

So last night I saw Iron Man 2 with my partner in crime (Imah). I must say that I was surprised. After reading some craptastic reviews, I went in with low expectations. Was it as good as the original? No. Was it the worst way to spend 13 bucks? No, I've done way worst (But let's not get into my extracurricular activities). I will say it's definitely the type of movie that needs to be seen at the theaters and, preferably, with a crowd that loves the comic book genre. There are a ton of laughs, as expected from the witty, crass Tony Stark (played perfectly by uuber hot Robert Downey Jr). There are intense fight scenes that take up at least three-quarters of the film. There's also a lot of unexpected dancing, by both RDJ and Sam Rockwell, who in my opinion stole the film. Mickey Rourke, who partied it up with me and Imah a few weeks ago, was the weirdest Russian I ever did meet. Word to all actors, if you can't perform an accent, just mumble your words. Apparently that's the method Rourke was going for. Every time he attempted to speak, I had to ask Imah, who obviously has relations to the Russian mafia, what the hell he was saying. In the film's opening scene, he's in Siberia, mourning his dead father, with the scariest hybrid of a cackle and a cry. Uh, frightening! However, even though I enjoyed myself, there were some flaws. The female characters were simply used to provide some estrogen to the screen and didn't really add much to storyline. The film also failed to develop Tony Stark past his Iron Man costume. Sure they delve into his dead dad a little but Stark has no real genuine connection with anyone and it makes his actions a little too self-indulgent. Maybe he's simply a man in an iron mask.

and the post's title is a reference to a line in the movie.

Postscript: make sure you stay till after the credits for a fun treat!